So as of lately I have put school on hold, and am trying to get a job since I have not had one since 2003 and figure a degree is great but also having work experince on one's resume looks pretty damned good too. As I am sure you are all very aware the economy sucks rocks right now, so need less to say its been a few months of me filling out applications and never hearing anything back from anyone. Luckily this week has seemed turn around for me, I had an interview at a breaktime gas station right down the street from me and I still might have a chance of hearing back from them, at some point. about if I will or will not be getting a job there. I went around to several medical offices that were looking for recptionists and maybe I will hear something back from them. In the next week or two weeks from now. I also have a job interview tomorrow for a job working at the MU Football games doing ushering.
so not really found anything as to a job yet but trying my damdest to actually find something. So many of my friends are unemployed right now, or facing the on coming fear of losing their jobs. I feel so bad for my friends that have this situation going on. I want to be there for them, but how much can one truly be there for someone that is in this type of situation. You can be an emtional support system for them yes. But the problem will not really ever go away until, it gets resolved. And finding an answer to something like that is easier said then done, sadly.
Well this week was certainly a good one but the week before that was not so great, I kind of accidently figured out that an old friend of mine that techically was my last boyfriend, does not wish to maintain a friendship any more, yes I know this seems very Neaive and childish for me to worry about I can't help it. The way he broke off with me was very odd, he basically thought we need more time to ourselves time to find out us indivdually, but he kept saying that he felt like he was still in love with me, but then that turned into that he was not sure. Sadly it just seems we drifted apart, it hit me hard cuz we both agreed we wanted to stay friends, and for the most part I do think thats still true. I think we just come off to each other as very different people then what we remember, I used to have long heart to heart conversations with him every night and we havn't truly sat down and talked in almost, two years now.
Its disapointing to myself cuz it seems very similar to how my first relationship ended I have only really had two real relationships to this point. But this guy i really felt like with all my heart that he really was the one. So naturally it took me a long time to be okay with just the idea we would not get back together and he probably did not love me anymore, even though I am sure he did at one point in time. But what really helped me get through that more then anything was the idea we both wanted to be friends. And now I find out thats not true either.
Who knows maybe things will turn around maybe we can be friends again, maybe we can gain back the closness we once shared. My main thought through all of this is when we were together as friends or as anything else. We made each other happy and I have good memories from that point in time.
If he dosn't want to have a friendship with me now, that is his problem, but I don't hate him for it. I might dis like he is being dumb and pity about things but I don't believ in hanging onto feelings like hate. Its unhealthy and bad for you. I have a lot of people in my life I assocate as friends, and they have been there for me through a lot of really rough seas. And they will try to be there for me as much as they can I am sure.
I am reminded as I end this my first entry of a qoute from a recent movie " Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift....that's why its called the present"
